Lesley's jungle-like back field, where she prefers to practice dressage tests.

Lesley’s jungle-like back field, where she prefers to practice dressage tests.

I haven’t written for a bit as:

1) I have to work extra hard to pay off my AT&T bill this month as I went three gigs over our family shared limit from my husband watching WEG constantly from 4:00 a.m. until work and then further watching Burghley this past weekend.. and..

2) I am depressed.

I am depressed because with all the many wonderful sports in the world I had to choose one of possibly the top three most expensive ones, and I am coming to realize that Equine Canada (the sport…not the organization) may be…the Jamaican Bobsled Team. (Although not as successful.)

I watched the WEG, dressage (a good amount), eventing (a lot), and show jumping (just a tiny amount) and saw how our fabulous riders went in to do their very best (and many of them statistically DID their personal bests, which is all we could ask them for!) and got slaughtered.

I watched how in Dressage the top marks in the Individual Grand Prix were 86% and 84% and Ms. Belinda, who I believe achieved a personal best scored a 72% and ended up in 22nd position in that category.

I watched how in Eventing the top five were in the 50s and our best sat in 29th position with almost 100 for a score total.

NOW, let me interject with a bit of personal information.

Being married to a multi-Olympic, European and World’s Medalist and Individual Gold Medalist, whose best friends have also gathered multiple medals or Badminton titles, has in many ways ruined the Disney version of life that I used to hold onto dearly. The first year I spent being the other half of Leslie Law was such a pisser as I was so in awe of everyone’s greatness. Of course being Canadian…well we don’t have those kinds of legends (in Eventing at least)… Just as one example, one of Leslie’s best friends is the fabulous Rodney Powell. One of the funniest, kindest most fantastic men out there (plus an almost twin to my husband lol). The first time I met Rod, I went into his house and when I went up his stairs to get to my bedroom these little horses ran the entire length of his staircase.. tons and tons of these little, kinda bookendish, bronze horses. I grabbed one and almost fell off the stairs when I realized they were Badminton completion prizes. The sheer number of those horses each representing a completion at the most recognized event in the world just blew me away. If a Canadian had one of these little ponies we would more than likely have it encased in a vacuum-sealed professionally created glass case… Rod has them covered in dust running up his staircase. So you see, that’s just one example of how the world changed for me.

I used to think that attending Olympics in any such capacity, finishing 22nd, 29th or heck even 50th was a massive big deal. And certainly, having been the person that was told on one day that she was on the team for Beijing Olympics and then told an hour later that her horse was broken and needed a year off, I can tell you that I do believe that as a personal benchmark in one’s life, yes I do think attending the WEGS or Olympics is a big deal in that way. HOWEVER, I no longer think that from a ‘sport’ and ‘competitive’ standpoint that there is any bragging rights in being in those placings. This because, like I said, my husband has ruined it for me. LOL.

When you look at these Games beside someone who has won them, you see a totally different standard that you never really grasped on to before. To me ‘B.L’ (before Leslie), the winners of these events were mythical creatures, superhumans, beings that I would be amazed to come 22nd to. But now that I am married to one.. I mean, he is really cool, super fun, a very good dad and all that…but he’s no mythical creature, if you know what I mean. And, of course, through him I have met and become friends with many of these ‘super humans’ and I can tell you, they are just very normal people who are REALLY good at their job AND have access to A LOT of horse flesh… and really top notch horse flesh.

And so this is why I am depressed.

Because I love the horse sports and I love our country, but we are just not an equestrian country (ergo my early reference to the Jamaican bobsled team) and probably never will be. No matter how hard our riders work it is unlikely that they will ever reach these heights and even more unlikely to SUSTAIN them as to do that one needs multiple horses of that calibre. I am constantly amazed when I hear comments from people marveling at Fox-Pitt’s, for example, fabulous four star horses and yet they never stop to think that although yes, he is one of the best rider’s in the world, and yes, he is a fantastic guy (with an equally fantastic wife I might add), and yes he has these fantastic three four star horses, where do you think the other 10 went that he tried to make four star over the last few years? These European riders are rollerdexing their way through tens of horses a season while our riders are busting their humps to make miracles happen with their one that will never on their best day move as well as Carl’s second string grand prix horse or run cross country like William’s third string four star horse.

I am depressed for my friends and I am in truth depressed for myself who once too had big dreams of being on top in the world stage but alas, I married the truth teller, LOL, and found out in reality the numbers of horses one has to go through to achieve this. My own depression really hit home the other day (grab a tissue I can wait) when six months ago an angel came along and gave me a substantial amount of money. True story, this lady came along and told me that I, being married, a mother, and a business owner, was a good role model for her riding daughter and other young girls out there so she wanted to help me buy another nice horse. I was floored as no one had ever done this for me before and I was deeply touched and very very honoured and excited. I spent six months trying to find the right horse, and my husband was kind enough to let me also add some of our own money into it and finally, I found the perfect horse that also vetted; after having had THREE fail the vet. Long story short, I got the horse here, rode it four times and it went lame. A month later it had an MRI and was diagnosed with a degenerative disease in both front legs that could not be diagnosed by a vetting. BOOM. DONE.
That was my chance. My moment. My fairy godmother wish come true and in one second, from a disease I had never heard of in my life… that money is down the drain…over and done with…no horse.

Talk about a punch in the guts.

It took me 15 years for that person to come along and honestly I don’t have another 15 to wait for the next one. I think I am riding very, very well right now and I do not say that easily as most that know me well, will tell you how self-deprecating I am. This is the best time in my life to go do well, but it will not happen for me unless those darn lotto tickets I keep buying pan out.

Simply put, we are not a country that has interest in supporting our riders with what they need the most money… money to buy the horses. Sure we love to cheer them on, take lessons from them, etc… but buy them a horse? No way. I wonder since Ms. Belinda returned home how many people rushed up to her after her career best, and I believe the best result Canada has ever had as of late, and asked her if they could become owners for her? I hope quite a few did, but I am somewhat skeptical.

I think the Canadians did a good job at the WEGs and I would love to see them do better next time around, but somehow I doubt we will see that happening unless we see a cultural shift that finds value and prestige in ownership of horses like they have in the European countries. In North America, I find we are a bit stuck with a double edged sword when it comes to our horse industry. The adult amateurs that exist here would be owners in Europe and be proud to own and support upper level horses. Here they want to own horses for themselves and run them at the lower levels. So, I don’t have a horse, but I have a job. Many of the adult amateurs here see the professionals as a bunch of whiners that are not entitled to having good horses. Ummmmm, I don’t know what to say. I am thankful for my job, I love my adult amateur clients and I am grateful that it is they that allow my husband, child and I to have a roof over our heads and a secure living. But, I would also like to have a world quality horse. It is a tough one that I know most of North America’s good riders grapple with.

Lesley (in jeans and orange cap) at the swim lessons peep show.

Lesley (in jeans and orange cap) at the swim lessons peep show.

Not only is my sport an absurdly expensive one, it is also a cruel one as we just saw a prime example in Ms. Hannah Sue, who just did a stand up job on day one and two of Burghley, ‘stand up’ being a massive understatement, only to have her horse go lame and be unable to complete. A sport where you can be just about the best competitor out there and then be unable to compete for circumstances beyond your control. I would hope for Hannah’s sake that the knife in the gut will be replaced by American owners gravitating towards her as she certainly proved herself very capable and I know she doesn’t have any other horses right now near that level.

For myself I have trained myself to do two things to keep the blues away. I make myself enjoy and love my horses on an everyday basis. One of my most favorite things to do is work on my dressage not in our fancy ring, but up in our back field that looks kinda sorta like the plains of Africa for miles around and just play some music and work my horses to the best of their ability all by ourselves. And the second thing?…

I thank the heavens for Liam our four-year-old son. I am so thankful for him as he gives me perspective. Every day I get depressed and I am quite sure that if I had chased my dream so far as to have forgave my chance at childbirth, I would probably be a very miserable person today, lol. The horse world can eat you up and spit you out and it is so easy to forget that there is a whole other life outside of it as it is so all encompassing a life for us. Shortly after I was reeling from the shock of losing my very expensive new horse, I was waiting outside the chain-link fence at Liam’s swim lessons. The swim school he goes to does not let parents into the pool area as I guess we would be a distraction. So they have a massive chain-link fence with a sort of shade over it so you can only see if you stand up real close to it and shove your nose into it. So here I am standing there in the parental line, a bunch of us looking as if you would think the Rolling Stones were just on the other side of it, and this one mom starts chatting away to me very proud of her four-year-old daughter swimming away in there and she says to me, “It’s too bad the lessons are so expensive as I would love her to come for another week.”

The swim lessons are $75 for the entire week of lessons. My kid went all summer and I was always amazed by how cheap the lessons were and how anyone could run that program for that amount of money.

Nuff said.